In Abril o nunca, the new novel, a story is presented that leaves no one indifferent. The author considers producing emotions a compliment. In the work, the protagonist needs to return to a cove in Benidorm, to the moment before his daughter's loss, when she still occupied the passenger seat. The author weaves a precise narrative about memory, grief, and the way we construct the meaning of what we have lived.
“"It's true that it's a tough book, but I don't dwell so much on death either. The loss is there, pulsating. It doesn't take center stage, but it marks the entire story. What interested me was precisely that: to see what happens with grief and with the experience of time."
One of the central themes of the novel is how we experience time marked by pain and absence. The author explains that he was more interested in internal time, how we experience it, and how grief changes everything, making life seem to stop around us. The protagonist does not fully confront what happened, and the pain seeps in differently, more subtly, in a moment also marked by uncertainty and discouragement. In this context, he begins a relationship with another character, without formalizing anything, while lies grow between them.
Memory is another central theme of the work. The author states that memory is selective and distorting, and that no one is capable of remembering exactly what happened, but rather the narrative one created for oneself about what occurred. This narrative, moreover, changes over time, as present priorities modify the perception of the past. The author suggests that it is probably a defense mechanism.
“"Memory is selective and distorting. No one is capable of remembering what happened: you remember the story you made up about what occurred."
The idea of memory is not limited to the individual sphere but also extends to the collective. The author, as a historian, points out that, although the past can be a good teacher, we learn little from past experiences, as we always find a way to justify ourselves and believe that we live in a different time. The past adapts to our needs, and the novel speaks of the stories we tell ourselves to sustain reality.
In Abril o nunca, the relationship with the past takes another step, approaching psychological science fiction. The idea stems from the reality that people with trauma are constantly traveling to the past. In the novel, this impulse becomes real for the protagonist, who finds a theory online about the possibility of mentally traveling back in time to stay in a specific moment. Trying to go back is also a way of wanting to control everything, but the author questions this idea, suggesting that we prefer to feel guilty than to admit our lack of control over events. Ultimately, the novel is not so much about changing the past as about understanding why we cannot, or that we never truly remember it as it was, but as we need it to be.
The setting of the story, Benidorm, is not accidental. The author explains that he was interested in its euphoric atmosphere, in contrast to the protagonist's state, and its artificial character, a city built for appearances. This contrast reinforces the idea of repetition in the novel, where everything seems like an imitation, just as the protagonist tries to reconstruct what he has lived.
